Uninstall America's Past
by A.E.Phillips
Summary: The world today is kind of sick. That's one thing America has started to see now, and he blames himself. He starts to think about how good things used to be between him and the rest of the world, and how me managed to destroy that. In angst and anger, when things become too real for him, he starts to run, wishing to change the world back to what it used to be.
1. History in the Making

Uninstall-VandettA

The clouds were dark grey and ominous, hanging heavily, and low. Anyone could tell it was going to rain no one came to this lonely field, there was no life for miles, people were oblivious, neglecting this field, no one came no one knew it even existed. But it did, one person the one everyone knows as the hero, the Badass Alfred F. Jones, yet even heroes, the best heroes have pasts, ones they might want to cover up from the world. Alfred, he was no different.

_Be a hero, you're the hero act like it Alfred!_ I thought as my feet carried me off in a direction I didn't know. I didn't know why I was running, or what I was running from. My feet carried me, continued to carry me and for what reason? I wasn't sure of that myself, running, and running and running, it feels like I've been going forever, but I can't stop, if I stop Who knows what will happen, what will go through my head. Suddenly, something catches my eye and I stumble forward to a skittering halt. I recognized this now, Japan and I used to hang out here before.

I look over to the trees memories dancing through my head, happy thoughts, so happy and pleasant I was walking around him in circles we smiled, laughed. The scene changed quickly, we had gone from happy to me standing over him. He was injured and I didn't seem to care.

_"America-san," his voice was weak and pleading. Begging me not to shoot he looks up at me his dull brown eyes shaking, he tells me, "America-san, I'm sorry, please I didn't mean to I didn't want to! Please you have to believe me!" _

_ I shake my head, looking down upon the man finally I speak, my voice stiff, "Than why did you Kiku, why did you do it?" I barked. "You have no answer." My blue eyes dulled over. _

_"BANG" the gunshot cracked. _

I cover my ears and try to ignore the sickening thud Japan made when his lifeless body hit the ground. I blocked out the sound not wanting to hear what was next to come. I felt my feet take off underneath of me. Still I think; _I-I-it wasn't my fault… right?_ I asked myself. I continue to run, running faster than before; I was running to escape the good and bad memories I didn't want to remember a single thing. I didn't want to remember anything else. I wanted to forget everything. I find myself running so fast I don't even see it in front of me until I force myself to stop.

The scene in front of me was Lithuania and I sitting on this exact park bench, my memories I'd like to keep in my head are slowly pushed away by the sounds of unhappy memories sad, depressing memories. Behind me I saw that day play through just like a movie.

_"Forget it Toris, give it up, you have nothing left!" I growled. Others would have surrendered, but not him, he knew me we lived together for a little while; he'd never give up never surrender. _

_ Finally, he spoke up, "you're a traitor Alfred-san…" He turned around. I could tell he was sad from the way his shoulders slouched. "A traitor I shall never forgive." With his final words, he departed, walking away from me, why was I such a fool?_

My feet pick myself up and propel myself forward, I continue running, God only knows where my feet continued carrying me, I run through a town, that's all I remember, where was I going, I wanted to get out, escape from this, what is this, what was this? Where am I even going? I can feel people all around me; staring, not removing they're eyes from me. _Stop it Al, you're strong! _I thought. I felt a tear begin to inch its way down my cheek, _Stop crying idiot!_ I thought. My feet took off, as if they had a mind of their own. My pace began to increase, faster and faster I continued running. _I can't, I'm strong, I have to continue I have to keep going! _I shook my head and continued.

I threw myself against a wall, I needed something to keep me from falling, it's not like anyone in my life would have helped me I kept pushing everyone I loved away. Why was I so stupid! I felt someone's gaze befall me, who was it, was it someone I knew? I couldn't be bothered to look. I looked forward and panted then took off again holding my chest.

Finally, I'm being led away from town, to a park, a lakeside, a beautiful lake, with lilies and beautiful flowers; I shake my head, stop, please no anywhere but here! I can imagine myself sitting here on a blanket with France, it was hard to believe him and I were ever friends; however, we were. The tears keep flowing as I try to hold onto this memory, and try and forget what I once did. To forget what I once did, why did I do this? To everyone I loved and met, my friends. What was this?! What was God trying to show me!?

_"Looks like you've lost again, Francey-Pants," I smirked. "Which means I've won once again France," I growled and threw him against the ground. I put one leg on either side of him, he lay on his stomach. At least I didn't have to see his face when I shot him. He no longer had the strength to struggle and with another sickening bang, I killed someone I cared about. _

Shaking my head I try to think of something else, something happier, and something better than this, anything was better than this! I try to let go of my memories the world is such a cruel place, I hated this, all of it and I had to live with this, all of this guilt. I couldn't believe what I was looking at now, this was a fond memory of mine; I was chasing Russia, we were actually… friends. The scene changed he turned on me all of this, our friendship, everything all lost because of the cold war and the arms race. He pointed his gun at me, I did the same; this isn't what friends should do!

"Someone make this stop! Someone please end this someone please! Please stop it!" I cried.

Before I know it I'm standing in front of a wall, a large black granite wall, I throw my fists against it, feeling the skin on my knuckles being ripped and torn beneath my gloves. I can't feel the pain, my hands, everything was numb. I couldn't feel anything, until someone grabbed my arm.

"Alfred stop, you're going to hurt yourself!" A familiar voice cried out. In my anger I throw the person to the ground, something catches my eye, his blonde hair and flyaway curl. It had just sunk in who I had thrown to the ground- my little brother, Matthew! Fear overflows his eyes, I'm such a monster! Out of fear I back up, inching my way away from Matthew, I bump into someone; I turn to see him staring back at me angrily. H-how could he be there, and on the ground!? I turned away from him and my feet took off once again.

From fear I take off again, I continue running, running and running faster and faster, finally I hit a fence. Out looking everything; however, I look out, and see nothing but blurs. Sad distant memories ones I'd never want to remember. I put my hands up to it sadly grabbing it. Holding it tightly, feeling trapped, like a caged animal! What's happening to me, what's going on!?

I turn and begin running again, at long last, I find myself in a place that means everything to me, the world everything. That day has always stuck out in my head this one memory; I was nothing without this memory. This is where me and England… No wait, me and Arthur met, today was when he took me with him, when he took care of me. This was my fondest memory.

_I saw myself as a child; he approaches me, his emerald green eyes shimmering happily in the sun. He smiles, something like I had never seen before in my life, it was such a beautiful smile. Finally, His hand outstretched to mine; "c'mon, let's go home America." His accent genuine, he sounded; happy. _

I watch, I'm about to grab it, I'm so close but the scene changes.

NO! Anything but this, I don't want to remember this! Anything please! No anything but this! Please I'm begging I don't want to remember this. Why is this memory of all memories, why did my mind have to remember this!?

_I grab his fist and throw him, pulling myself away from him; I thought I heard a thud, though he turned quickly and lunged at me. We continue fighting, balling our fists landing a few good hits on each other. The fighting never seemed to come to an end, why couldn't we just stop!? I refused to stop, I wouldn't give up; "Give it up England you're too weak! There's nothing you can do anymore! I'm no longer a child, nor am I your little brother!" I hissed. I hauled my fist back and wailed back on his left arm. _

_ He recoiled, turning to me, his eyes filled with ever flowing sadness; he turns; "Why?" he asked standing back. _

I just want this madness to stop, I wanted to tell England that I didn't mean for any of this to happen, and how I didn't mean to hurt him. I lunge forward continue to run, fast fast fast! Run Alfred! Just inches away from the arm I just punched he disappears. In the same moment I run ahead, I have nothing left to run from I had just experienced the two memories I either loved the most, or dreaded and never wanted to relive!

I can't take this! I can't take this anymore! This is too much! It feels as if the ground beneath me is starting to take away itself from me. I know I can't go on like this much longer, I'm sorry Japan, Lithuania, Russia, France, Canada… and most importantly, I'm so sorry England. I'm so sorry I wish I could take this all away! And forget everything that happened! The world is cruel and unusual! I collapse to my knees, the tears kept flowing and flowing, and flowing, they wouldn't stop, they'd never stop. Everything was so good once, I had friends, and a family who loved me. I abandoned everything that was good, everything that I loved being around; and for what: Power, respect, Money?!

I try to stand again; I want to continue, continue running from everything. However, I've been doing nothing but running, I know know that my body is at its limit... I can't run anymore, not by myself. I hear something behind me, it's faint; it sounds like footsteps. I ignore it thinking it's just the wind. I feel something touching my shoulder. I hope to see my friends, family and fellow countries, with high hopes I turn around.

My smile faltered; nothing.

I'm alone.

I lie on the ground on my side, sobbing hysterically. It was embarrassing to see myself, or hear myself sobbing about how sorry I was; I knew I had no one left. They had all left me, they were gone. I had no one to comfort me when I needed it most. I wanted everyone to know that I never meant for any of that to happen, I wanted out of everything, I wanted to apologize. Say sorry to every single person that I had ever hurt.

I hear running thuds they're getting closer; it no longer looks like I'm crying now that the clouds had started to cry with me. "America!" The voice shouted. It drew closer and I heard someone fall to their knees beside me.

"E…England…?" I say slowly and start to stand. He helps. The smile I thought had disappeared came back when he looked back at me like he still cared about me; even though I had pushed him away, he was still there for me and he was still my big brother whether I liked it or not.

Why was he here, that's what I couldn't understand, is why was he here? I got no response. Instead he walked forward grabbed my shoulders and pulled me closer to him.

"Don't worry America… You're not alone…"


	2. Hiroshima-Pearl Harbor: Japan's Past

England sighed and took me back home we walked together I rested an arm around him for support. Sometimes I wondered why he hadn't left me like everyone else. I've hurt him more than anyone else I know, more than any country I had even once befriended. He was the man who raised me, so of course he meant a lot to me and I loved him more than anyone else I knew. That's why one of these days I'm going to tell him how I feel about him; I don't know when but soon. He went into the kitchen and came back out with a cup of tea.

"Why were you out there America?" He asked with concern and gave me the cup. I sighed and looked at him with pleading eyes. I probably looked pathetic. "Never mind, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to America, I'll leave you alone," He muttered. I grabbed his hand and stared into my tea.

"I want to tell you England, but I don't know how." I muttered. "I guess, you could just say that I was remembering good moments; and not so good moments. Don't worry about me though, you can go home England."

"If you're alright to stay here by yourself, I'll go…" England said and came closer. I noticed pink dusting his cheeks, what was going on why was he blushing so much. Why was I blushing!? My cheeks heated up and my eyes were forced shut. "Take care Alfred…" He muttered and pressed his lips against mine. He pulled away and walked out leaving me to think of everything I did wrong. Everything I ever did to anyone in my life. The first person I thought of was one of my best friends, Japan.

Japan and I were really really good friends. I couldn't believe he would have ever betrayed me the way he had. I didn't want to wage war on him; it'd be like wanting to try to kill Matthew, or Arthur. Everything used to be so right between us, now I wonder if things would ever go back to the way they had used to. I was always a jerk, I should have turned a blind eye when he attacked Pearl Harbour; I shouldn't have fought back. I'm just glad I didn't kill him. It was always hard for me to think of what it would have been like if I wouldn't have been power hungry back then, and be more like Mattie. I never called my brother that anymore; it was always Canada, or Canadia, how stupid could I be forgetting his name. Just thinking about the time I went to War with him sickens me more than anything.

However, Japan. It sickens me to all extent knowing that I hurt him, like I said we were best friends for a while. Most people don't know that about us but yeah we were. We hung out, quite a bit at that. We did all sorts of things together, watched movies, went out to eat with his fancy chopsticks and even ate at McDonalds! Not to mention watching scary movies, and all sorts of other things like watching the flittering cherry blossoms floating to the ground once they began blooming. Even though I hated winter because it was so cold, I loved waking up and going to Japan's to watch the Cherry blossom trees when they were in bloom. First Day of Spring I was always hanging out with him to watch them bloom. All the different colors were absolutely beautiful, the different shades of pinks, and whites. It was times like this when I was happy to be hanging with Japan, even if it was a bit chilly.

_"Hey Japan, look over here!" I laughed. He was playing with his dog but he turned to direct his attention to me. I held out my hands and showed him the small flower in my large hands. Japan smiled and closed my hands around the small flower._

_"That's great America-san, be gentre and keep that frower, and protect it, America-san," Japan said softly. I smiled as he closed my hands over the flower and his large brown emotionless warm eyes looked at mine. Everything was so good here; I really didn't think anything could have gone wrong. However it did, but it wasn't my fault, it was Japan's he attacked first. He never should have if he didn't want to get hurt._

I can still remember running around with Japan, day after day when things were good eating out, eating in movies, video games, all sorts of things and still he wanted to attack did he think that would be a good thing? Honestly he should have known he was going to get hurt!

I sighed and stared into my tea Arthur made for me. I touched my fingers to my lips, where Arthur's once were. I still couldn't believe he kissed me. I shook my head my heart still racing, _get your act together America, England left you here to think about what you've done idiot!_ I thought. _Some hero I am._ I sighed and beganremembering everything about Japan's attack. We were happy before that happened what happened, what changed we were really happy in retrospect I can't think of a time where I wasn't happy with Kiku. _Maybe it was all one sided._ My eyes widened at my own thoughts. _No, I'm sure Japan was happy too, it's impossible to think he wasn't! _My heart began to pound so loud and fast I could hear it in my head. I shook my head and the tea dropped from my hands as I curled into a ball on the couch._ Japan was happy too! I'm sure of it! _I thought.

"Than why else would he have attacked!?" I screamed. I pulled the pillows over my head and screamed into it. Voices shot through my head rushing through everything like a bullet, I slammed my eyes shot as I continued to hear voices. This was the worst idea of my life; I saw everything play through my head like a bad movie!

_Loud frantic knocks boomed on the front door of my house. "America! America! Open the door, hurry I have bad news!" Someone shouted. I turned on my stomach and pulled the pillow over my head. "America please, open the door! You're going to want to hear this open up! Let me in America please!" he shouted again._

_I looked over at my wall, "December seventh, at seven fifty in the morning," I muttered I yawned and pulled myself from the warmth of my bed. "I'm coming!" I yawned._


End file.
